This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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