How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
