let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
