Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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