I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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