He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
