I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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