it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
