what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
