I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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