Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The power of my boobs compel you
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize