...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
