He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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