So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
