happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
