I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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