:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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