drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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