2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize