i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
