the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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