That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
