Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
