Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
