I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
