you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
