Pregnant stripper...not hot.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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