Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
