Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
ttyl tear gas
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
