I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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