Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
