he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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