tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
