Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
