So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?