I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize