Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
