I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
