Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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