On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
