nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
