i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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