So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
