Do you still have your period?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize