I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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