Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just pynch a tree in the face
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
