operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
