He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
why is half of my head shaved?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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