Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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