doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
