Sry I called you an 8
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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