it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This baby is an asshole
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
