Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
