I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize