There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Two words: nipple clamps
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