were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
