is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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