We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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