Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize