I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize