I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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