a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
