even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
