that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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